Q4: How important to you is learning parenting skills?
Almost everyone who took part in the poll felt that learning parenting skills was very important (1014) or important (189) to them.

Q6: If you know of any parenting classes (this includes courses, programmes and seminars) please tell us what you recall about the name of the classes and/or the group that runs them.
Couch members named a wide range of parenting classes (including courses, programmes and seminars). While some people didn’t know of any, most could name at least two or three. The most commonly mentioned were those run by national organisations such as Barnardos, Plunket, Playcentre, Parents Centre, La Leche League and Parents Inc. (formerly known as Parenting with Confidence Inc.). Classes organised by churches, community groups, REAP, schools, polytechnics, universities and early childhood centres were also identified.

A broad range of class topics were mentioned including: negotiating with teenagers; mothers and daughters; fathers and sons; parenting skills for young mothers; food and nutrition; anger management; and child development. Classes focusing on antenatal education, such as those organised by hospitals and community groups, were also mentioned. Course leaders identified by name included Diane Levy, Celia Lashlie, Ian and Mary Grant, and Steve Biddulph.

While not formal parenting classes, networks such as coffee groups or mothers’ groups were also mentioned as sources of information and support. Guest speakers on national and local radio stations were another source of advice. Government-funded initiatives and services, such as Parents as First Teachers, SKIP (Strategies with Kids: Information for Parents), and Child Youth and Family caregiver classes were also named by a small number of people.

Q7: Have you attended any of the parenting classes that you listed in the previous question?
More than half of those who responded to the poll had attended a parenting class which they had listed (yes 691, no 271, n/a 222).

Q8: If there were parenting classes in your neighbourhood now, how likely would you be to go?
If parenting classes were available in their neighbourhood, over half of those who responded (655) would be likely to attend.

Q10: If access to appropriate parenting education has been a problem for you or your family in the past, please describe what the problem was and what could have helped at the time.
The main reasons people had problems accessing appropriate parenting education were time-related (eg lack of time or clashes with other commitments such as work or family life), the cost of courses and a lack of childcare. Comments about cost were common, with people describing classes as costing “big money” and the fees as “prohibitive”, particularly if the cost had to be added to the cost of childcare while parents attended.

Childcare is the number one reason these courses are inaccessible for me. I simply do not have any money in my budget … to pay for babysitters to attend evening classes.

The cost of childcare was not the only concern, people also mentioned difficulties in finding reliable, trustworthy carers for their children. This was a challenge for many families.

Many parents said how hard it was for them to find childcare to be able to attend evening courses while most parents in paid employment were unable to attend courses run during the day. Childcare, if offered, was typically reported to be available only for daytime or weekday classes, not for those run on weekends or evenings. Several people mentioned wanting both partners to attend, but this was not possible if suitable childcare could not be found or afforded.

A lack of time and classes conflicting with other commitments (particularly work schedules) were common themes. A number of people said they were too tired or too busy to attend courses. Shift-workers also found it difficult to find time to take part in parenting education.

Finding time and energy [is a problem] especially at the end of the day.

Managing time between meeting the needs of the family, household, relationships, work, school, playcentre and kindergarten, after school activities. Synchronising childcare with a husband that works long hours…

Other issues included classes not being offered in particular regions (eg rural areas), a lack of transport and the cost of petrol. Travelling time (sometimes on long back roads), when added to class-time, meant it was not practical for some parents to attend classes.

I do not have a car so cannot travel far, am a single parent with little help, so do not have childcare.

Classes were sometimes booked out, or on the other hand, cancelled if not enough people had signed up. Some were offered too infrequently. It was also hard for people to know the value of what was being offered.

A number of people said they had been unaware that parenting education was available, or that it was poorly advertised or promoted. However, there was acknowledgment that organisations and schools running parenting courses often had limited budgets for wider advertising.

There were also comments about the content and focus of various types of parenting education. More education was requested for families with particular needs, eg parents of children with a disability, parents with twins or triplets, parents with adopted children, blended families, sole parents, and grandparents raising grandchildren. Several people said there was a lack of parenting education focused on fathers. A gap was also seen in education for parents of school-age children and teenagers. Some people were reluctant to take part in parenting education because they felt they would have little in common with other parents taking part due to differences in their age, experience, background, family structure or cultural beliefs.

Q11: Please tell us how you could be better supported as a parent?
Couch members had a range of ideas in response to this question. Most people said that having better access to parenting classes, information, resources and networks would be helpful. Issues again included the content and focus of parenting information, a need for unbiased and non-judgemental information and advice, and concerns about availability, cost, relevance, lack of advertising or publicity, and childcare while parents attend classes. It was suggested more support could be provided by 24-hour support phone lines, parenting programmes on TV, parenting classes after 5pm or in the weekends, information or classes specifically for fathers, home visits, support networks, and greater investment in resources, programmes and information that is already available (such as SKIP’s pamphlets).

There needs to be a bit more consideration for working parents as most courses are run during the day, or if at night usually start about 6.30pm when most parents are just getting home.

More positive parenting programmes on TV. To be honest, it’s the best way to pick up info. I’ve watched teenage programmes with my 15 year old at home and it’s better than dragging him out to seminars which get his back up.

As a father, I would like to see better education and programmes in the community helping men who are looking after their children, and how they balance paid work and parenting.

Many Couch members also thought that government and society needed to value children, parents and families more highly.

I feel that parenting isn’t valued either economically or politically. I would like to see parenting recognised as the 24/7 job or vocation that it is, rather than feeling obliged to work for an income, to be perceived as contributing to society…

Treat parents/caregivers with trust and respect they deserve… Celebrate the job parents do whether working, home, or a combination of both.

Tax breaks or incentives, income splitting, lower tax rates, removing GST on specific items, and rebates were also popular suggestions for supporting parents.

Also less stress with finances – TAX RELIEF! Especially for one income families where one parent stays at home – it would be good to be able to split the income and lower our tax rate.

A need for childcare (including care for children before and after school) was frequently mentioned. Couch members wanted childcare that was flexible, cheaper, more readily available, and available out of normal working hours. Increased subsidies and rebates were also suggested. (A recent Couch questionnaire asked parents and caregivers about their childcare needs for their school-aged children. The results of this questionnaire are available on the Results page.)

Family friendly workplaces, flexible work hours, time off for sick children and school holidays, and increased parental leave entitlements, were mentioned as ways parents and families could be better supported.

Some parents said they were well-supported. Often these people mentioned strong family, friendship or community networks as the reason they felt supported.

The only support I feel I need is financial support – but what I do value enormously as a parent is family support and a work environment that is family friendly.

On the other hand, some people said they wished they had stronger networks.

Having my mum live in the same city [would provide me with better support]!

I would’ve liked to have someone to talk to and someone who had the same problem so that I knew how to cope.

We have no local family who can assist us so have had to ‘go it alone’ with little or no outside help.

Other issues raised included a need for increased support and recognition of fathers, a desire for the government to play less of a role in homes and families, requests for subsidised and free healthcare, school bus services for remote areas, and greater recognition of the range of family types (such as single dads, grandparents as parents, single sex couples and full-time mums).