Q2: Thinking about the violence you have observed in the media, what effect do you believe, or have observed, this might have/has had on children?

There were various points of view on this issue. Some people thought violence observed in the media had detrimental effects on children, while others believed there were no effects on them. Some did not expose their children to violence via the media.

“It has a detrimental effect if parents don’t monitor what their children are watching and don’t explain things they do see to give it context.”

“It has had no effect.”

Many felt that the exposure to violence via the media encouraged violent behaviour amongst children.

“Encourages their experimentation with violence.”

“Encourages them to use violence to resolve any conflict in their own lives.”

“I believe that it encourages poor approaches to problem solving.”

Another popular belief was that it encouraged children to copy violent behaviour.

“They are likely to copy it without knowing how much it hurts others.”

“When my boys were at day-care other kids who watched violent programmes would copy behaviours they had seen.”

“Have seen direct copying of violent behaviour after watching it on screen.”

“Children, especially little ones, are great mimics and soak up TV behaviour like little sponges.”

Some Couch members thought it might make children think that violence is normal and an acceptable part of everyday life.

“Normalises violent behaviour. There are no apparent consequences for perpetrators or victims of violent behaviour so they don’t have a second thought about aggressive/violent behaviour.”

“I think that seeing violence every day like that ‘normalises’ it, making it less shocking and more acceptable in the eyes of young minds.”

“I believe that repeated exposure to violence through games and in the news “normalises” it and increases our tolerance of violence. It is difficult for children to know what’s real and what isn’t so the impact can be more significant for them.”

A number of respondents believed that children could become numb or desensitised to violence if they were exposed to it constantly through the media.

“I think it has a numbing effect on particularly younger people who are in their formative stages. At best it probably desensitises emotionally secure kids and at worst it exploits a ‘hole’ that is in insecure kids that can then be outworked in their real life surroundings, sometimes with devastating effects.”

“I teach secondary age students and I have observed that they are numb to the effects of violence. They think it is funny and have no empathy for the victims.”

“Most children aren’t this sensitive but I think that every child (and adult) experiences a numbing effect when they witness violence – the brain develops coping mechanisms (‘it’s OK it’s not real’ ‘it’s OK it’s just a movie’ etc….) and we learn to not be upset by violence – then when it occurs in real life we don’t react with the immediate outrage and sympathy for the victim that we should and so violence in real life begins to grow and take hold.”

“I believe that it desensitises them to violent acts. I believe that we can portray that we live in an increasingly violent society, and warn children about the dangers, without constantly showing these images in the media.”

“I believe it has a desensitising effect – although we sometimes underestimate children’s ability to be discerning between reality and make believe.”

Couch members also commented on the consequences and effects of violence they had witnessed in their children, including increased fear, anxiety, stress, disturbed sleep patterns and/or nightmares.

“They can easily transfer what they have seen to their own lives and show fear in a way they haven’t before.”

“My girls get distressed, ask questions about it.”

“My children have been disturbed and had nightmares about things they have observed in the media. Even though I try to protect them from it they occasionally are accidentally exposed. It has also caused them to be unable to sleep and to act out in violent play the things they have seen.”

Many expressed concern that repeated exposure to violence might blur the lines between reality and fantasy for children.

“They lose the sense of reality.”

“Young children do not correctly discern between fantasy and reality, which can have devastating effects on the moral standards that they establish.”

“Children do not have any ability at young ages to differentiate between reality and fantasy. Violence on TV normalises the belief that it is acceptable.”

Some Couch members felt that exposure to violence could make children less appreciative of the value of human life and develop a lack of empathy and/or moral development and understanding.

“Lack of intellectual and therefore moral development. Inability to relate to other people constructively.”

“Can have devastating effects on the moral standards that they establish.”

“It could mean that they don’t have empathy or guilt.”

“Children these days don’t get shown the values of life.”

Many felt that the news was not an appropriate programme for their children to watch or be exposed to.

“I don’t let my young children watch the News”

“I avoid letting them watch TV after 6pm (especially the News!).”

“I have an older daughter who gets very upset by violence on TV – particularly real life depictions or even descriptions such as in news articles.”

“The media and news channels promote their stories in earlier times when children may see them if watching the channel. The news should be something we can show our children. But it’s terrible.”

“It’s hard to be black and white, since kids are encouraged by teachers to watch the news and that can be as bad as some programmes.”

Lastly, a few respondents felt that some exposure to violence via the News media could be a good thing, as it was representative of the world we live in.

“I have found that it provokes good conversation on violence, it is good to hear the children’s views and opinions.”

“The truth is shocking which is good.”

Q11: If yes, what were the reasons that you allowed them to see/play the older rated game/programme/movie?

There were a number of reasons why Couch members allowed their children to see or play an older-rated game, programme or movie.

In some cases they decided to use their own discretion and judgement.

“In a few cases I have allowed a child in my care to see an older rated movie because I was there and I considered the overall content or message of the movie suitable and because I was there to interpret, explain and add balance.”

“If I believe that the programme or movie has historical or educational value.”

“Sometimes you need to decide on the lesser of evils – violence, sexual content or bad language.”

In other cases they only allowed their children to consume media rated at an older age when they, or other responsible adults, were present while the movie or programme was being watched or game being played.

“Because it was with my supervision. The minute I thought the level was inappropriate I stopped the game or movie and told my child it was not appropriate.”

Some parents thought the rating system was sometimes too strict and/or inconsistent. In these cases they used their own judgement on the suitability of the content.

“Thought it was rated too harshly.”

“Didn’t think rating was accurate – had seen film before.”

“We have found the rating system to be far from consistent. Sometimes light non-graphic, non-gratuitous violence is rated for a high age bracket. Other times it will be rated as acceptable violence for a lower age bracket; yet not warn about the pornographic content.”

Other Couch members were more lenient when their children were close to the age restriction limit or when their children were considered mature enough to be exposed to that type of content.

“Because they were close to the required age.”

“I felt my children were mature enough to view it.”

“Child’s age very close to age restriction.”

A few admitted giving in to their children’s constant nagging about not being able to watch a particular movie or play a particular game.

“I own up! I was nagged into it and was spineless. I gave into it. That’s the only reason.”

“Got sick of being nagged.”

“Easier than putting up with bad behaviour from not letting them watch.”

Some also admitted giving in to their children’s friends’ peer pressure.

“They wore me down and told me about all their mates whose parents let them watch it.”

_“In a weak moment I gave in to “all of my friends are watching it and I won’t be able to talk about it with them tomorrow”.”

_“Pure peer pressure in that their friends are allowed to and why can’t I? Says he gets teased if he isn’t allowed to see something his friends have (who are all the same age as him). This makes it so difficult for parents with other parents who obviously turn a blind eye to ratings. Often there are not a lot of suitably rated films to see or are frequent film goers have seen them all which is the parent’s excuse. I have had this from a mother who is a primary school teacher!!”

“All of his other friends had the games and he felt left out.”

Q12: What advice would you give other parents wanting to monitor or set boundaries/rules for their children’s media consumption?

Couch members offered a variety of advice and opinions.

“Your children’s minds are precious and very impressionable. If you feed them with good values, morals, and attitudes (in this case via the media) you will reap the benefits. Feed them negative, violent things and we will all suffer the consequences (anti-social behaviour, crime etc).”

“Unfortunately we cannot trust or expect the TV producers to hold the same values as we do which is an important reason why the TV is a lousy babysitter.”

Many thought it was important for parents to be aware of what their children wanted to be watching and/or playing and what their friends (of similar age) were doing.

“Just generally be involved in their lives and know who their friends are.”

“Make sure you are aware at all times that you know what your kids are watching, playing and listening to.”

“To be aware and do research on what the kids WANT to watch. Maybe if they ask to see a TV show you could check it out one week and then make a decision on it.”

Couch members also thought it was important for parents to be able to say no to their children and stick to their guns. Some felt that children could be very persuasive and it was important for parents not to give in to their demands.

“Don’t be afraid to check it out and say no.”

“Don’t be sucked in by the ‘all my friends are doing it’ argument. If you are going to say no then stick to it, don’t be talked into something, it starts a pattern of behaviour.”

“No means no – never give in, not even once, involve children as age appropriate in reasons why, offer an alternative, role model what you want them to do, see, say.”

Respondents felt it was important for children to have boundaries, especially from an early age.

“Decide as a family what your boundaries are before you come across instances where you have to enforce those boundaries.”

“Start early; don’t wait until they have the ability to argue with you, set the standards when children are young.”

“Set rules, explain them, and stick to them. Kids rebel against boundaries, but they like to know where the boundaries are.”

Many felt that all parents should educate their children about the possible consequences of viewing and/or partaking in inappropriate material and keep communication lines open from an early age.

“Educating child why not allowed to view certain content.”

“Be more aware – research what they are watching and if inappropriate, talk to the children about why it’s inappropriate. It can be a problem if they visit their friends’ homes where rules are more relaxed about viewing habits so beforehand, discuss “what if…” scenarios with your child e.g. what would the child do if they were allowed to watch a programme at a friend’s house that is not permitted at home. The key is communication with your child.”

“I have taught my 6 year old to understand what things like PG, G, R16, etc mean. He understands that rules MUST be followed and if he bends those rules then I will sell his PS2!!”

Consistency was recommended.

“Make sure that you and your partner are on the same wavelength so that your children do not take advantage of inconsistencies.”

“Support one another. Varying standards by parents is a problem.”

“Be consistent and talk through reasons why it is not advisable to watch, view or listen to.”

Some Couch members suggested that parents participate in their children’s media consumption.

“Watch with them so that you know what they are watching.”

“Spend the time to sit with your child and watch what they’re watching and get to know your child.”

Many felt that televisions and computers should not be allowed in a child’s bedroom. It was suggested that they be located in a public space within the house, to increase the likelihood of the child being supervised.

“No TV or computers in bedrooms.”

“Place the computer in a publicly accessible area in the home. No television in children’s bedrooms.”

“We keep the computer and TV in the family room rather than in any of the bedrooms so that what is being watched can be monitored at all times.”

Some suggestions were made to limit the time children spend each day in front of a television or computer screen. Some Couch members felt it was inappropriate for children to be allowed to sit in front of a TV or computer for hours on end.

“Our family has set technology days for each child or days where it is shared so that non-technology days have no technology requests made. E.g. my kids know that on Mondays they can’t get on the computer so they don’t even ask.”

“Restrict the amount of screen time during a day to an age appropriate amount.”

“Limit the amount of time that children can watch/use computer.”

Q13: This poll was primarily focused on the amount of, and how, violence is portrayed in the media. Are there other things portrayed in the media that are of particular concern to you?

A very popular additional concern was the amount of sexual content, including nudity, being portrayed in the media.

“Nudity is being accepted as the norm rather than the unusual (all very sad indictment of how far down this country has sunk).”

“Sexually explicit material, lack of morals (e.g. everyone ‘sleeping around’ in TV programmes/movies.”

“Yes. I think the ‘throw away’ use of sexual ideas in other than committed relationships is a problem. Big subject but generally to say that the devaluation of relationships to ‘anything goes’ is very destructive for families.”

Many music videos were seen as degrading (mostly towards females), with overly high sexual content.

“Adult themes in music videos are slightly concerning.”

“Mainly the amount of soft porn in music videos. C4 is totally banned in our house because it is mostly a sex channel.”

Another recurring topic of concern was the prevalence of offensive language.

“Language – I feel the use of swear words total unnecessary and does not add anything to a dialogue – overused in NZ and people seem to be proud of themselves for using them, so again an attitude problem.”

“Bad language – often swearing or suggestive comments in movies rated ok for kids – not necessary for the story lines.”

Programmes with bad or inappropriate role models (especially within family units) were of concern to some respondents.

“The lack of positive character role models for boys (apart from the physical rugby NZ stereotype).”

“Family break-ups, disrespect towards parents.”

“Family values are being denigrated.”

“The lack of any programmes that show a traditional family enjoying themselves, where the mum and dad actually love and respect each other and the kids think that mum and dad are great?”

“Programmes that make mum look like a hero and dad a blithering idiot, such as the Simpsons.”

Inappropriate advertising was mentioned.

“Advertising – promoting consumerism and materialism, and unhealthy foods.”

“The ads that are promoting unhealthy eating e.g. in prime time pizza, burgers, KFC, I think this should not be allowed.”

“Advertising to children. It shouldn’t be allowed as young children are not able to be discerning. Advertising shouldn’t be allowed to children under 12.”

Another related issue was inappropriate previews of other programmes. These were often shown during times when children were present, but the content was inappropriate for some children to see.

“I hate that some programme previews with violence or scary bits sometimes appear during day time television when the kids are about, watching okay shows for them.”

The content and time that the news was presented were of concern to some respondents. Some felt the news could be too graphic at times and that coverage on crime was sometimes over-represented and biased.

“I also believe that the news needs more guidelines i.e. they could have an early bulletin reporting the same news but with much less graphic footage that is suitable for children and then save the more graphic news footage for the later news slot.”

“I would like to see news bulletins prior to 8.30pm subject to PG ratings. The news bulletins seem to be pushing the boundaries further and further (e.g. its coverage of terrorist/war acts) and becoming more sensational, which is not appropriate when children are likely to be watching.”

“Far too much violence is shown on the news. This is lazy reporting and not necessary to illustrate the news.”

Reality TV was also a worry to some Couch members, as they felt that it was not a real depiction of life and could create bad role models.

“Too many meaningless reality shows.”

Lastly, some respondents mentioned the bad behaviour of public members of our society, such as politicians, celebrities and sports stars.

“Watching our MPs act like children when in Parliament!! And to think of what they get paid to do this!”

“Exposing bad behaviour from Politicians and NZ Sporting Representatives.”

“Dishonesty of politicians.”