Getting an even balance between work, family and community responsibilities is one of the most difficult issues faced by families. Our discussions with people over the last few years have made it clear that some struggle to give their families the amount of time and attention they would like to.
Others manage to even up the imbalance, but acknowledge it can take careful thought, planning and commitment to make sure the family doesn’t lose out at the expense of work.
We thought it would be helpful both to us and to families, to learn a little more about what some families are doing to even up the balance between work, family and community responsibilities. Couch members came up with a range of strategies and tips that they have personally found helpful.
Our Balancing Work and Family Life poll ran through May and June 2007.
Thank you to the 550 Couch members who told us how they balance their work, family and community responsibilities. We received so many great ideas, strategies and problem solving tips.
Couch members’ tips generally focussed around the areas of:
As well as sharing these tips with other families through The Couch, we’ll be sharing them through our publications and awareness-raising campaigns throughout the year.
Planning
Planning ahead was seen by most parents as the key to balancing their work, family and community responsibilities. Many also prioritised the demands on their time.
“Plan the important things first, the others will fit in or they don’t matter as much as you think – try not to cram too much into one day and learn to say no.”
A large number of people found a diary or wall/fridge planner that tracked the weeks’ commitments was extremely useful. For some this included planning the weekly menu and shopping, and working out when and where to spend time with different members of the family, and friends.
Others suggested a variety of ways to save time.
“Keep in touch with family by phone, do dusting or other chores at the same time.”
“Grocery shopping – if you work in town, shop during the lunch hour.”
“Cook larger meals and freeze for the busy times.”
“Slow cookers are a must for busy households.”
“Make bulk batches of muffins and sandwiches and freeze wrap individually to put together quick lunches (they defrost by lunchtime).”
Some found internet shopping a timesaver, including buying groceries online.
Others found that doing things around the house as a team freed up time for fun together.
“We all do the house work on a Thursday night. It takes less than 45 minutes and we can then all relax at the weekend.”
“A job shared is a quick job.”
“Have kids help with the household chores – dishes, laundry, housework etc. As a single parent life wouldn’t work if the kids didn’t do their bit – there just wouldn’t be time.”
“We do homework in the car with the younger three while waiting at the older daughters school to pick her up (she finishes 15 minutes later), or take a ball and use those 10 minutes to practise catching with the youngest for her netball.”
“If you can afford it, pay someone else to do some of the housework – frees up time for family and stops you stressing out about what hasn’t been done.”
“Limit the amount of activities you have each week so that you are not too busy every day.”
“Doing the washing on the Friday evening enables the family to attend sports on the Saturday morning and spend a free afternoon together.”
Spending time with the family
Many Couch members make a conscious effort to spend time with their family – whether it’s sitting down to eat dinner together, spending Saturday mornings at the park or playing games together.
Some people programme time into their weekly schedule to allow them to spend one-on-one time with each child, and their partner.
Turning off the TV was also a popular way of gaining family time.
“Cut down on TV time in the evenings in preference to spending time with family, having a meal together, talking about the day’s events.”
“Setting aside a routine evening for a games night (no TV!).”
“Watching TV together or a movie or sport is not quality time. Quality time is being able to share things with another person and provide your total attention.”
“We encourage each family member to do one random act of kindness with no returns required, at home per day. You never know that big pile of washing might get folded and you can sit on the couch and read to your kids!”
Others suggested abandoning the housework in favour of spending time with the kids.
“The housework will still be there tomorrow.”
“Play with your kids for at least 30 minutes throughout day so they get your attention for a while then are happy to go and do their own thing for a while.”
“Enjoy your children and that way you will enjoy that part of your life with them.”
“Remember why you had them and fit in with their needs not try to make them fit into your life. It’s only for a short while, then they fly the nest.”
Flexible work
For many parents, having flexible work options is of enormous benefit to their work-life balance. Some choose to work part-time so that they’re available to pick up children after school, others work in the evening once children are asleep, some start work after school begins for the day. Other parents each work part-time or flexi-hours so they can spend more time with their children.
“Take a job with flexible hours – make sure your employer knows you put family first, be clear you want work-life balance.”
“Balance work and child collection – between my husband and myself we have arranged with our employers to start early and finish early a couple of days a week so we can pick up our four year old son from crèche.”
“I have a job with flexible hours so I set aside two evenings a week for paid work, and I make sure I stick to that.”
“Recognise that what’s important for one person will be different for someone else – ‘one size fits all’ strategies don’t work, responsive workplaces will be able to create work-life balance solutions that work for the individual and their circumstances.”
“Downsize. Focus less on having things, and you may find possibilities for part-time work or staying home for one parent.”
Looking after yourself
Couch members are well aware that to get the best out of their life, they need to pay attention to their own well-being as well as that of their family.
“Get a good night’s sleep – it keeps stress levels down and energy up.”
“Take time for yourself. When I’m calm and have time and am in balance, sometimes the most amazing discussions and sharing thoughts happen.”
“Try not to take work home.”
“Ask for help when you need it and return the favour when you can.”
“Share childcare with friends to get time with partner.”
“I have a babysitting swap with my sister. Once a month we baby-sit for her and her partner then they reciprocate so we get to go out once a month and don’t have to pay for a sitter.”
“Take a little time out each day for yourself.”
Looking after the community
Many families are active in their communities and are careful to factor this into their work-life balance.
“Integrate your leisure and community activities. For example, join the neighbourhood planting group and take the kids, go for a walk on the beach and pick up rubbish, practise drama/music/art and present it at the local rest home.”
”Ask your manager to consider letting you have three hours per month work time to do your volunteer work. The company then feels that they are contributing to that charity too.”
“Limit the number of activities you get involved in.”
Thank you again to all the Couch members who shared their stories.
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