Kia ora and welcome to The Couch – the Families Commission's online panel. We want to know what you think about the issues facing New Zealand families.




Ageing and families - how does it affect you?

The Ageing and Families poll looked at how different generations of family members make a difference to each other’s lives. We asked a range of questions of both older and younger family members. For this poll we defined people aged 65 and over as ‘older family members’.

Summary of results

Thank you to the 641 Couch members who completed this poll. The majority of respondents (97%) were under 65 years.

Almost all respondents made contributions to, and received them from, family members of different generations.

Older respondents reported contributing mainly to the lives of their daughters/stepdaughters, sons/stepsons, grandsons and granddaughters, while they received contributions from their sons/stepsons, daughters/stepdaughters, spouses/partners and granddaughters.

Younger Couch members contributed predominantly to the lives of their parents/stepparents and grandmothers. And reciprocally, mothers, fathers and grandmothers were the main contributors to their lives.

Keeping in touch, emotional support, and contributing to warmth and enjoyment of life were the most commonly mentioned contributions. Sharing family history and cultural knowledge with the younger generation and providing occasional childcare were also commonly mentioned contributions made by older family members. Giving and receiving were valued by both groups of participants.

Commitments to young families and employment were commonly seen as barriers to contributing to the lives of older family members. Distance and money were considered barriers by both groups of respondents.

Couch members suggested several ways for the government and employers to assist with the provision of intergenerational family contributions, such as: financial compensation for carers, recognition of care by employers, availability of respite time and access to support networks for carers. Promotion of multigenerational families and raising the profile of informal care within families were also suggested.

Q3: Do you regularly make any of the following contributions to family members who are under 65 years?
  • Care for family members under 18 years of age [20]
  • Care for family members who have a disability or significant mental/physical health condition [11]
  • Emotional support [30]
  • Assistance with household tasks [19]
  • Assistance with transportation [19]
  • Assistance with administrative tasks [15]
  • Sharing knowledge of family history and/or cultural knowledge [30]
  • Sharing other knowledge and experience [28]
  • Financial assistance with smaller expenses [21]
  • Financial assistance with big expenses [14]
  • Support for cultural, sporting, educational and other endeavours [26]
  • ‘Keeping in touch’ with younger family members through phone calls/texts/emails etc and/or visits [29]
  • Contributing to the warmth, enjoyment and fun experienced in family life by younger family members [30]
  • I do not make regular contributions to family members under 65 years [3]
  • Other [6]

Sharing family history and cultural knowledge, keeping in touch, emotional support and contributing to warmth and enjoyment were the most commonly mentioned contributions made to younger family members.

Q7: Do any of the following impact on the degree to which you contribute to the lives of younger members of your family?
  • Distance [18]
  • Money [20]
  • Commitments to older family members (65 years and older) [5]
  • Finding it hard to get along with younger family members [4]
  • Younger family members not needing your care/support [4]
  • Younger family members wanting to be independent and self-sufficient [6]
  • Employment commitments [7]
  • There is nothing that impacts on the degree to which I contribute to the lives of younger family members [6]
  • Other [4]

Money and distance were the most common barriers for older Couch members.

Q9: Do you regularly receive any of the following contributions from family members under 65 years?
  • Personal care [3]
  • Emotional support [19]
  • Assistance with household tasks [13]
  • Assistance with transportation [7]
  • Assistance with administrative tasks [4]
  • Sharing knowledge and experience [18]
  • Financial assistance with smaller expenses [9]
  • Financial assistance with big expenses [2]
  • Support for cultural, sporting, educational and other endeavours [5]
  • ‘Keeping in touch’ with you through phone calls/texts/emails etc and/or visits [27]
  • Contributing to the warmth, enjoyment and fun you experience in family life [26]
  • I do not receive regular contributions from family members who are under 65 years [1]
  • Other [1]

The most common regular or occasional contributions received from younger family members were keeping in touch, contributing to warmth and life enjoyment, emotional support, and sharing knowledge and experience.

Q14: Do you have family members aged 65 years or older?
  • Yes, one family member aged 65 years or older [146]
  • Yes, more than one family member aged 65 years or older [399]
  • No [65]

Nearly three quarters (73%) of respondents had more than one family member aged 65 and over.

Q15: Do you regularly make any of the following contributions to family members aged 65 years or older?
  • Personal care [48]
  • Emotional support [341]
  • Assistance with household tasks [142]
  • Assistance with transportation [137]
  • Assistance with administrative tasks [141]
  • Sharing knowledge and experience [293]
  • Financial assistance with smaller expenses [95]
  • Financial assistance with big expenses [52]
  • Support for cultural, sporting, educational and other endeavours [40]
  • ‘Keeping in touch’ with older family members through phone calls/texts/emails etc and/or visits [480]
  • Contributing to the warmth, enjoyment and fun experienced in family life by older family members [408]
  • I do not make regular contributions to family members aged 65 years or older [30]
  • Other [35]

88% of respondents reported keeping in touch as a contribution they make to older family members. Contributing to warmth, enjoyment and fun, providing regular emotional support, and sharing knowledge and experience were also commonly mentioned.

Q19: Do any of the following impact on the degree to which you contribute to the lives of older members of your family?
  • Distance [352]
  • Money [255]
  • Commitments to younger family members (under 65 years of age) [339]
  • Finding it hard to get along with older family members [75]
  • Older family members not needing your care/support [166]
  • Older family members wanting to be independent and self-sufficient [195]
  • Employment commitments [246]
  • There is nothing that impacts on the degree to which I contribute to the lives of older family members [40]
  • Other [22]

Distance (65%), commitments to younger family (62%), commitments to work (45%), and money (47%) were the main practical barriers for Couch members contributing to the lives of older family members.

Q21: Do you or other younger family members regularly receive any of the following contributions from family members aged 65 years or older?
  • Care for family members under 18 years of age [144]
  • Care for family members who have a disability or significant mental/physical health condition [34]
  • Emotional support [287]
  • Assistance with household tasks [73]
  • Assistance with transportation [56]
  • Assistance with administrative tasks [22]
  • Sharing knowledge of family history and/or cultural knowledge [317]
  • Sharing other knowledge and experience [238]
  • Financial assistance with smaller expenses [105]
  • Financial assistance with big expenses [63]
  • Support for cultural, sporting, educational and other endeavours [157]
  • ‘Keeping in touch’ with you or other younger family members through phone calls/texts/emails etc and/or visits [394]
  • Contributing to the warmth, enjoyment and fun experienced in family life by you or other younger family members [369]
  • Older family members do not make regular contributions to my life or to the lives of other family members who are under 65 years [51]
  • Other [10]

The most frequently mentioned contributions received from older family members were keeping in touch (72%), contributing to the warmth, enjoyment and fun experienced by the younger family members (68%), sharing of family history and cultural knowledge (58%), and emotional support (53%).

Making contributions to older and younger family members – how it affects you – the good and not so good things (Q6 and Q18)

Comments from older family members

Couch members commented that contributing to the lives of younger family members was satisfying and rewarding and made them feel useful and valued, although it could also be tiring and affect personal free time and finances.

I am very happy when I can contribute to the needs of younger family members, but it is a financial burden at times. I wish I could do more to help them… … I used to be able to keep up with them physically, play games with them. It’s frustrating that I’m wearing out!!

Comments from younger family members

Couch members who contributed to the lives of the older family members said it was a positive, rewarding, important part of their lives, and a way of giving back to those who cared for them in the earlier years. Additionally, this involvement with the older generation was considered significant, enriching and valuable for children. A group of participants referred to contributions to their elders as a natural part of family life and, therefore, did not require evaluation as good or bad.

Downsides were time pressures and emotional and financial consequences of caring for the elders, especially when combined with bringing up a young family and earning a living.

Distance was frequently mentioned as a factor that affected the amount of involvement with older family members. Respondents expressed regret and guilt about not giving as much as they would like to, due mainly to time limitations and financial constraints.

A number of participants observed that their elders were healthy, self-reliant and valued their independence; therefore contributions were not dictated by necessity and consisted mainly of keeping in touch.

Some participants voiced concerns about the future impact of the deteriorating health of older family members on their lives.

Receiving contributions from older and younger family members – how it affects you – the good and the not so good things (Q12 and Q24)

Comments from older family members

Couch members enjoyed and valued receiving contributions from younger members of their families:

Makes me feel special, appreciated, and an important member of my whānau.

It gives positive direction to one’s daily life. A reason to get up early and stay active.

Comments from younger family members

Younger Couch members saw receiving contributions from older family members as valuable and positively affecting the quality of their lives. Shared knowledge and family history gave them a sense of belonging, continuity and identity. Involvement of the older generation was seen as both enjoyable and enriching for children.

The younger generation were very appreciative of current and past financial support from their elders. It made life more pleasurable, manageable and sometimes gave them a head start. Practical input was valued and when given in the form of childcare often enabled parental employment.

Older family members could be relied on for assistance and encouragement in difficulties and provided a feeling of safety and security.

I believe that the contributions that older family members make to the family are very important. Just small things like tales of their youth or helping financially make the sense of family strong and stable.

The downsides of receiving contributions from older family members included the feelings of guilt and indebtedness on receiving financial assistance and having to accept criticism and advice that was sometimes considered out-of-date.

What, if anything, do you feel that the government, employers, work colleagues, neighbours and others could do to help and support those caring for and supporting older/younger family members? (Q8, Q13, Q20, Q25)

Comments from older family members

Financial recognition, tax relief and travel subsidies were suggested by Couch members as possible assistance for older family members caring for younger family members. Respondents felt that grandparents raising children should receive assistance equal to foster parents.

Similar suggestions were made about support for younger family members caring for older family members…

Recognise their assistance by tax relief.

Possibly allow paid leave (set amount) for younger family members who care for and support older family members.

See that they get paid assistance to get time off.

Comments from younger family members

While some of the younger Couch members mentioned the benefits of having helpful neighbourhood networks, the majority strongly supported receiving assistance from the government and employers. These could be broadly classified as assistance for the carers, assistance for the elderly, and promoting a broad definition of family and the value of caring for others.

Many Couch members wanted financial recognition of this care in the form of carer allowances, tax incentives or a version of family assistance. The need for flexibility of employment conditions was stressed as well as for leave provisions specifically dedicated to care for the older family members.

Suggestions also included support for easily available respite care to prevent caregiver burn out, raising the awareness of services and access to professional support networks for referrals, and emotional support.

Practical support related to facilitating keeping in touch with older family members by assisting with distant care phone costs and travel grants was also mentioned.

Direct assistance for older people to increase their independence was seen as a way to support carers. This could include assistance with housing modifications; support for older people’s involvement in the community and financial assistance to do so; provision of centres for older people to socialise, and community day care centres for the elderly. Wider promotion of the available services was also raised, as well as the need to simplify the procedures involved in dealing with agencies and completing forms.

It was suggested that the government ought to acknowledge, encourage and reinforce involvement among generations and raise the profile and appreciation of the informal care among family members. A group of respondents acknowledged the availability of Government contributions.

Most Couch members said there was a need for formal acknowledgment of childcare provided by grandparents. Financial parity with foster parents was suggested in case of full time care, accompanied by support with parenting challenges. It was felt that grandparents should not be financially disadvantaged while providing care for the younger generation. This could be prevented through financial recognition while protecting life savings by way of tax breaks or increased National Superannuation. Further suggestions of assistance included provision of respite time, more information on entitlements and available support, and making administrative procedures easier.

Conclusion

The results of this poll indicate that substantial intergenerational contributions take place within families. These contributions are largely enjoyed and provided voluntarily, but at the same time have real and potential personal consequences for the contributors, such as fatigue, stress and financial costs.

Suggested assistance for family members providing contributions included financial compensation for carers, recognition of care by employers, availability of respite time and support networks for carers, as well as facilitating greater independence of the elderly. Promotion of multigenerational families and raising the profile of care within families were also seen as important.

We appreciate the time and thought Couch members put into their responses. These responses will contribute to the Families Commission work programme in the future.

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